Tounge twister

Tounge twisters

 

"So that means you need to know things even when you don't need to know them. You need to know them not because you need to know them but because you need to know whether or not you need to know. If you don't need to know, you still need to know so that you know that there is no need to know." 

 

This sentence by Bernard Woolley piqued my reading habits and changed my speech forever.

 

Dear toastmasters and guests, how do you think one sentence can be held responsible for so many changes?

 

This is a form of tongue twister which I heard for the first time in a TV serial "Yes Prime Minister". This particular episode "Man overboard" was telecast on 3rd December 1987 on BBC. Sometime later it was telecast on Doordarshan in India. Around the same time, I read a Play "My fair Lady which was an adaptation of a novel, Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw. A phonetics scholar Professor Higgins is trying to make a flower girl Elisa Doolittle presentable for the high society by teaching her pronunciation and getting rid of cockney accent. I still remember two sentences from the play "In Hertford, Hereford and Hampshire hurricanes hardly ever happen" and another one "How much dew does a dewdrop drop if dewdrops do drop dew?"

 

My dear Toastmasters and Guests, Tongue twisters are words, phrases, or sentences that are difficult to say because of a varying combination of similar sounds. They can be very challenging as well as motivating and fun to learn. Due to this, People want to repeat tongue twisters. The purpose of Tongue Twisters is to speak the English language to perfection. The subtle changes in the spellings make the words mean different, look different, and definitely pronounced different.

 

These are loads of benefits attached to them, apart from entertainment and time pass

 

1. They strengthen and stretch the muscles involved in speech

 

This muscle exercise leads to clearer pronunciation; clearer speech patterns, and helps rectify some of the hardest sounds for you. They’re also just fun, making learning pronunciation – something that can be quite frustrating – more enjoyable.

 

2. They show you which sounds are difficult for you

 

Depending on your native language and your own strengths and weaknesses, some sounds will be harder for you than others. Tongue twisters can really highlight which sounds you’re struggling with. 

 

3. They are a great warm up

 

Even if you’re a native speaker or you’ve mastered English pronunciation, tongue twisters are a great warm-up exercise before you make a presentation, speak in public, teach a class, lead a meeting, act, and more!

 

In Toastmasters, we often see a speaker is not effective as the listeners are not able to understand him speaking. If the speaker is mumbling, "Swallowing" parts of words or even entire phrases, or speaking so quickly that it becomes really difficult to hear what he or she is saying. 

 

Tongue twisters are an excellent vehicle for speech clarity. To say a tongue twister properly, you have to concentrate on what you're saying and fully enunciate each word and syllable - otherwise your words are going to get all twisted together into a garbled mishmash that means nothing.

 

Can YOU say 'pad kid poured curd pulled cold'?

 

Psychologists reveal that this is the world's hardest tongue twister

 

•     MIT researchers in Boston found that certain combinations of sounds appear to make people lose control of their mouths

•     They asked volunteers to say 'pad kid poured curd pulled cold' repeatedly, which defeated most people taking part in the experiment.

 

There are many popular tongue twisters but I have tried to collect for all of us to enjoy. They are:

 

A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.

 

I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.

 

I thought a thought. But the thought I thought wasn’t the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn’t have thought so much.

 

Do you know that there is a Toastmasters club named Alameda Tongue twisters club and another club by the name of Texas tongue twisters club in US. 

 

Are you aware that there is International tongue twisters day; it is celebrated on the second Sunday of every November. This year it is on 12th November.

 

Tongue twisters are not limited to the English language. Almost all native languages boast of some very fine tongue twisters. Hindi being my native language, I would like to share one or two interesting ones in Hindi as well.

 

“Oonth uncha, oonth ki peeth unchi, unche oonth ki poonchh unchi” 

 

“Khadak Singh ke khadakne se khadakti hain khidkiyan, khidkiyon ke khadakne se khadakta hai Khadak Singh" 

 

If you understand, say "understand". If you don’t understand, say "don’t understand". But if you understand and say "don’t understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!

 

So, if you understand, then can everyone present repeat after me 5 times "I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream" 

Crow

Kaanv kaanv kaanv...... 

The crow would not let me sleep that Sunday afternoon and continued to caw irritatingly. 

It​ was raining incessantly and I had planned to catch up on my sleep as I had a hectic week and my family too was away.

Trying to shoo away the crow, I opened my eyes and felt as if my father was talking to me," this cawing of the crow means that you will get a visitor today, so get up Veenu....."

Good evening toastmasters and guests, 

You won't believe how hard I tried to sleep again, knowing that in this rain, with no one home there will be no guest today but sleep evaded me somehow.

I turned left and saw my father smiling from the photograph.

Don't know whether I slept and was dreaming or it actually happened but in his loud and clear voice he asked - 

"What happened Vinu ? You got up early?"

"Yes papa, but it seems like you did not sleep the whole night"

"Actually, I was trying to build this character for the new script I have in mind but it contradicts with the central theme of my drama"

I turned towards my right and on the other side of the room was Mom's picture, a mix of care, love and pride. 

"Why have you not taken your lunch today" she enquired

"Maa, I am not hungry"

"This is what I don't like about you, so much work pressure and you are so careless for your health" 

"Maa, for heaven's sake, today is Sunday and there is no office"

"I know I know and still you are checking your blackberry every hour, why don't you keep a sleeping bag in your office only, no need to come home"

I angrily turn my face towards her. I feel a stab of pain as I see a garland around her picture. Instantly, reality hits me and I wake up from day dreaming. Now this was real. It had been 11th Dec. 2014 around 3 PM, when I received a call from my daughter "Papa, I have just come back from school and Dadi is lying as if lifeless, she is not moving, Please hurry and come back home"

And in exactly two hours from that call she was declared brought dead on arrival at hospital. The world had come crashing down. I could not believe that my mother had passed away leaving me alone. As I looked towards her body on the pyre before she was engulfed in flames, it seemed that she was still thinking of me and telling me, "Take care of your self" 

A sob escaped from my mouth as the pain and the loss became unbearable. She was still looking at me, not done with her instructions..." Be strong, you have to take care of yourself for others. Your family needs you to be strong

"Maa, Please don't go"

"I have to go to make tea for your papa, its been three hours that he is writing and is not able to find a suitable end to his story" 

Papa, yes, he too left me 25 years back.

As I turn towards him, he is in best of his moods

"Happy birthday to you"

"Happy birthday to you" 

"May gawawd bless you"

Happy birthday to you"

He was recording a message for me on a new second hand tape recorder that he gifted me on my 20th birthday. 

"Is the recording happening or not, I hope I am not blabbering just like that"

"Papa, see the red indicator, it means it is happening"

"OK, happy birthday to you" here's wishing you all the happiness in life. 

Have you seen the birthday card I brought for you? Let me read it out for you. Wishing a you a wonderful future and may your dreams take you as far as you wish to go" 

Tring tring.

I come out of my slumber as finally the door bell rings. I open the door and there is a kid at the door asking for donations for old age home. I come back to the room and open my wallet, unfortunately there is no change. I was going back to the kid to ask him to come some other time when I heard my father say, "No needy should go empty handed, if you have something, give him. Everything good you do will come back to you. 

The kid was not able to control his happiness as I handed over a 500 rupee note to him. His target was achieved. "Thank you Uncle, thank you so much"

After closing the door I realised​ that all these years I have been waiting for my parents to return, while they  had never gone anywhere. They are always in me, with me, we are one. I am their face to the world. I am today what they were. I reflect their upbringing and thoughts

I looked outside the window, the rain had stopped and the dark clouds had disappeared. The sun shone brightly and will set in a short while from now. I could see a rainbow in the horizon. 

I mused over the afternoon and thought, where are the guests? Crow's cawing cannot be wrong. Then who had come?

As I thought, with a shiver of delight, I realised that Yes, the beautiful memories had come, motivating memories, memories that made me realise that even today my parents are one with me.

Horse

Making a horse listen
                      

Good evening to all Toastmasters and Guests.

You can take a horse to a pond but you cannot make it drink water is an old proverb. Don't you feel sometimes that your horse does not listen? Listening is very important but what is more essential is how anything is communicated. Not only words but it is very important to have proper emotion on face so that your thoughts can be conveyed properly. In our daily life too we come across the all such emotions and we come across HORSE too who does not listen to us. The horse in our life is:- 

 

H - Home

O - Office

R - Relatives

S - Seniors, subordinate and spouse

E - External word. 

To communicate with horse, we have to use all emotions so that we can make sure that whatever we communicate is understood so that HORSE drinks water.  

How many of you heard of Bharat Muni. And how many of you are aware that he has written Natyashastra which includes "Ras theory" in this he talks of nine emotions.

Let us visualise a situation. I have just come back from office and I enter my home, my wife asks me "Hi, how was your day" In response to this question, the answer can be different depending on how the day was:- 

1. Shringar ras - Love, beauty, sentiments. THE DAY HAS STARTED NOW MY DEAR

2. Karuna ras - sadness or sorrow. MY BOSS FIRED ME. 

3. Vir ras - courage or heroism. TODAY, I GAVE IT BACK TO MY BOSS

4. Bhaya ras - Fear, nervousness or anxiety. THOUGH, I GAVE IT BACK TO MY BOSS BUT I FEAR HE WILL SPOIL MY APPRAISALS NOW. WHAT DO I DO???

5. Vibhatsa ras - disgust, hate or depression. MY BOSS HAS SPOLIT MY APPRAISAL AND HE HAS PROMOTED ANOTHER PERSON INSTEAD OF ME.

6. Raudra ras - anger, violence. MY BOSS HAS CHALLENGED ME, HE DOES NOT KNOW HE HAS INVITED MY WRATH.

7. Shant ras - calmness, peace or relaxation. A PERSON CAN DEFEAT ME BUT NOT MY SPIRITS

8. Adbhut ras - wonder, curious or astonished. MY BOSS CALLED ME AND ASKED ME FOR A CUP OF COFFEE IN HIS CABIN. 

9. Hasya ras - humor, laughter, joy. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TODAY, MY BOSS SLIPPED ON A BANANA PEAL. 

Let's see in a scenario at home how many emotions you can find. 

Trying Tring - Sir, are you Aarav's father.

Yes, I am Aarav's father here. 

Sir, are you Vinay Srivastava

Of course, if I am Aarav's father, I am Vinay Srivastava only; he does not have 2 - 3 fathers.

Sir, please come to school immediately.

What happened ????

Sir please come to school urgently. I think it is very urgent.

What do you mean you think, will you please tell me what exactly has happened.

Sir, at this time all I can say is that you come here fast.

With all kinds of thoughts in my mind I just to my sons school. 

Oye careful man, will you kill us under your car. 

My son is in class 4D, her teacher has called me urgently, Please let me go inside. 

Saar please go and wait there.

(After ten minutes of agonizing wait), her teacher comes to the reception area and declares

Sir, Your son is very depressed. 

Depressed??? Why? How?? When??? I mean how can you say that?

Sirrrr, he was very sad today. His face was down and when I asked him why he was not writing. He looked up and told me that he is missing his grandfather. 

His Grandfather, I said!!!

Yes Sir, please don't worry I have informed other teachers and they have also exempted him from doing any work. 

Aarav was telling all of us that he used to play a lot with his grandfather and he used to buy him ice creams and toffees and he is missing all of it. Sirrrr, please take care of him.

What are you taking of????

Sir, I know I know and I can understand it must be a shock for you. But it happens with kids and us as teachers and parents have to take care and please don't worry, we are with you and we are all sure that he will come out of it. 

Teachers - My father passed away (teary eyed) 26 years ago and even my wife has not seen him. So, how can he possibly be doing all these things with him? 

So, we see that in life we have many types of experiences and we have to deal with each one with a different emotion and make sure that our Horse understands and drinks Water. 

Tiger trail

It had been close to two hours that we were traversing across the forest. With each passing moment the anticipation was becoming more fervent. We could find pug marks of all sizes but  success still eluded us. The vast jungle held unseen beauty amidst its folds. The flora and fauna of Tadoba were mesmerising but my eyes were searching for something else and my mind was tuning itself for an exhilarating experience. The jeep suddenly came to a screeching halt. "Sir, see the footmarks here" all our eyes were expectantly focussed on the muddy path and we could see a big footprint.  We felt adrenaline rush in our bodies as we felt victorious. But was it victory or was it just another false alarm. The guide looked at the mark from all sides and said "it seems P2 is somewhere near".

P2 ??? I looked around amazed.....  Is there a toastmasters club here too??

You must be wondering what I am talking about. Last month when we were embarking on the journey to Nagpur, I was not so  excited to attend a 5 day Outdoor training programme. Little did I know how exciting it was going to be in the end.

After a two hour car drive we arrived at Bamboo Forest Safari Resort near Tadoba Tiger Reserve. I was mesmerised at the artistic depiction of each and every item. We could feel the presence of tiger in each and every article. Be it tiger head shaped door knob or the wash basin embedded in tiger body. As the darkness set in, the eerie silence was frightening. Tigers were the only thoughts I had and was trying to imagine how majestic they would look when we could see them.

Next morning I woke up with dreams of taking selfies with the Royal King. I stepped outside my room to a slight chill in the air. The freshness smelt as if it had been infused with extra oxygen. Sun had just begun it's journey and it's bright and clear orange reflection in the lake ahead made the day double sunny and vibrant. The beauty of the dew drops on the leaves were breathtaking. I was admiring the statue of a lady holding a half tilted pot, pouring water in the fountain, lost in my own thoughts, when someone shouted hey P1 has been sighted today. P1 ? Toastmasters club again? I was perplexed. "Yes, Choti Tara was seen near the lake" It was then that the guide cleared my doubts and explained that here P1 is Choti Tara, P2 is Maya and P3 is Mohan. What a co-incidence with Toastmasters. I was wondering if they also have ACB, ACS and ACGs like us?

The first two days of the training passed in a whirlwind. With each exercise we were told to accomplish, all I could think of was P1, P2 and P3. Finally, on the 3rd day, the moment arrived when a forest safari was planned for us. With a single track aspiration of sighting the beast, we clambered on. Will it be P1 or P2 or P3 which will make us lucky? My heart sank when our guide told us that more than 50% of the tourists were not able to sight the majestic animal even after multiple attempts. I was pondering over this information and analysing the chances of success when suddenly, the jeep came to a screeching halt. There was some movement in the bushes. Everyone was waiting with bated breath when a sloth bear emerged. Unmindful of guests it continued its heavy walk.

We had practically searched every possible nook and corner of the area where Tigers were expected to be but luck evaded us. We came back to our rooms, tired and disappointed.

Next day, we again hit the road early in the morning, and as we were entering the forest, few enthusiastic Monkeys greeted us. A herd of spotted dears was seen rushing near the lake. They stopped and turned their heads anxiously in one direction and suddenly everything went silent. I was smiling at a small baby dear when I noticed the stunning silence. Everyone was looking in the other direction with their jaws dropped, awestruck with magnificent sight ahead. Yes, it was P1, Choti Tara some distance away behind the big blades of grass near the lake. Majestically moving away from the lake towards the trees, her slow but steady strides exuded confidence. In a few moments, she vanished behind the trees and we were left wanting more of her. It felt like a dream as I pinched myself for a reality check. Did I really see her? Or was it my imagination playing tricks? My plans of capturing the moment in my camera were dashed. Though I was happy to have caught a glimpse of Tara, I not satiated, in fact I wanted some more of her presence, to observe and to appreciate the beauty.....

Reliving the discovery channel that we used to see from the luxury of our bedrooms, we resumed our quest with a firm resolve of a better experience. With the passing of time, our energy levels were diminishing as we were loosing hope of sighting the Tiger again. A thick layer of dust had settled on my forehead after 3 and a half hours of traversing across the length and breadth of the forest area. It was time to bid Good Bye to the beautiful civilisation and return to uncivilised cities. We wanted to exit on a happy note. Each one of us was wildly clapping "If you are happy clap your hands, clap, clap,clap" The jeep moved rapidly from the centre of the jungle towards the Kolara Gate. The chanting continued  "If you are happy clap your hands, clap, clap,clap" Screeeeecch...... The Jeep came to a grinding halt once again. Maya was walking majestically on the road. She was hardly ten metres away. The vision was Super High definition. Each step she was taking portrayed Power. She was sheer strength. Then she stopped suddenly and turned to stare at us. I could feel her looking straight into my eyes. Her jaws moved as if in slow motion and she let out a blood curdling roar. It was frightening and we were unsettled. Before we could react to the series of events, she suddenly turned towards us, increased her pace and leapt high. Even as we started screaming, our hearts thumping against our rib cage, she ran past us into the the dense jungle and disappeared. Forever for us.....

Good Bye Maya.

Ravan, The epitome of evil, was very restless today. Sitting in the higher worlds, he has been watching people burn his effigies on Dussehra. He was OK with the fact that people celebrate his reduction to ashes. People eagerly waited for the day when they celebrate the victory of good over evil. He was after all the ultimate villain, a symbol of lust, greed and selfishness. Ravan had heard a million times from political leaders, how he sacrificed his family and put the interest of his nation below his personal interest. 

He thought to himself, Yes, I did all this, I do not deny that, I did everything what I am blamed for. I kidnapped Sita and kept her hostage at Ashok Vatika. I kept her away from her husband. I daily instigated her with my proposal for marriage. BUT I did not touch her as she said NO. I am not justifying my action in any way but today I want to point out that as she said NO, I stayed away. I wanted to marry her, so that I could make her my queen. Give her a life of respect and luxury hence I requested her daily but she refused and I went back to my Palace, only to return again with the same question the very next day. Why am I then still the ultimate villain?

Ravan, famous for his belly rumbling laughter, was feeling very disturbed and even his hands were slipping from his Veena which he could earlier play for hours. He came out of his heavenly abode for a refreshing walk on the sea shore. As he was walking on the beach he saw a girl picking starfish which had landed on the beach with the waves and throwing them back in the sea. During the process sometimes they were biting her but she continued with her efforts relentlessly. Ravan became very curious, he asked her, who she was? She replied without even looking at him, "My name is Nirbhaya and I symbolize life. You can physically harm me but not my spirit. These starfishes bite me but I will still not stop giving them life."

Curious, Ravan said, I am sure like everyone else you also despise me as you see only the negative aspects of my personality and not the positive changes I introduced. My ten heads are not a symbol of dread but were symbolic of my knowledge of four Vedas and six Upanishads. I stopped the sacrifice of animals in the society. I was known as Social reformer and during my rule, my country was known as Golden Lanka and though I forcibly abducted a married woman but I never touched her. Nirbhaya patiently listened to Ravan and said "A person can do thousands of good things but if he cannot respect a woman, he does not deserve to live" 

That was the day when Ravan realized his folly and accepted his defeat. That day, he accepted his punishment and burned with shame when his effigies were burned. 

Good evening, my dear Toastmasters and guests. Today, I am here not to celebrate the spirit of Dussehra but I want to compare the situation of girls in earlier days to their situation in our world today. When a girl says NO, it means NO. We should respect that and honor her feelings. I recently saw a movie "Pink" which made me think about the society that we are living in.

Every day when we read newspapers it is full of news of rapes and attacks on woman. We live in a society which teaches it girls to be safe. They are supposed to be having sixth sense which can smell any harm coming their way before it happens. And, god forbid if something happens, what is our reaction. Don't tell anyone, it will bring bad name and shame to the family. We start blaming the girl for not being extra cautious. 

If a girl touches, pats and even hugs her male friends, is she giving them signals? She might be feeling safe and comfortable in their company. 

If a girl loves wearing modern outfits, does she want to provoke boys? She might be again looking only for comfortable dressing. 

If she smiles when she speaks, is she interested to build a relationship? It may be a part of her charming personality

If a girl is not a Virgin, is she characterless. She may have been in a relationship.

We are living in a society which is totally biased towards women. I am going to narrate here a story of a lady who had a son and a daughter and always motivated her daughter to be brave and fight for her rights. Her daughter grew to be a very strong woman but her own son mistreated his wife. The lady realized her mistake. She should have simultaneously taught her son to respect woman. Though, she supported her daughter-in-law but if she had inculcated the correct values in her son, she could have solved the problem from its roots.

Dear Toastmasters and Guests, this is a mistake we are continuously doing in life. We teach defense to girls, we tell them to be safe and keep quiet in case there is any problem. This is one approach, but Instead of doing this, should we also not teach the boys to respect woman. The men must know that even if they possess all the good qualities, if they cannot respect a woman for what she stands, then every achievement is meaningless. We have to teach men to understand that they come from a woman and their world revolves around women. And when a woman says No, it means NO. Learn to respect their decision. 

Smart Buyer

Smart Buyer

Good morning everyone. Let me begin by asking, how many men present here think that they are smart buyers. And how many ladies think that they negotiate better than men.

(Responses)

Buying and negotiating is a part of our daily life. It starts from the time we wake up. The Door bell rings ! Everyone pretends to ignore as no one wants to get up.  Negotiation starts, who will go and open the door. Remember, I opened the door yesterday, You go, No you go. Negotiation.

My daughter says, "Papa, I have to go out with friends to KFC, I need 500 rupees" "why ? You will get a meal in 300 and a drink in less than 100, I think 400 should be sufficient" - Negotiation.

I tell my son "you have to complete this chapter in one hour " After 40 minutes he has not reached even the half way mark.  "Son, you are behind schedule, Do it fast " Project Execution and Follow up.

Next in line is the wife, "we have to go shopping in the evening try to reach home by 6" "Oh no, I have a meeting at 4 and a con call at 5. Take your call in the car" - Negotiation.

Well, I used to think that I am a smart buyer, After all I am a Buyer professionally and I am supposed to be buying materials and services for my organisation. For everyone else buying is a casual activity but not for me, I earn my living out of it !

Actually, we start buying when we are small kids. Our mothers ask us to buy petty things from the nearby retail store like onions. As we grow up we mature, more money is given to us to buy more items like medicines etc. But, if you are the youngest of your siblings even if you grow 40 year old, your parents will have more confidence on the buying power of your elder brother. My mother never believed that I could make costly purchases. It is ironical that at the same time I handled purchases worth crores in my Organization but was not considered a good buyer by my own mother.

Another scene, MD calls me to negotiate a deal worth 20 crores. I get on the job immediately call meeting of Operations Team, gather specifications, float enquiry, get quotation, compare, mercilessly negotiate with the vendors, Get good discounts. System is implemented and accolades flow from all corners. Everyone is happy. My smart buying powers earn me money in the form of salary and increments.

Another day, another scenario, I am returning home after closing a big order in office, When my wife calls, "can you please buy a kg of onions" A Smart Buyer to go and buy an item worth twenty rupees ! Anyway, I wear my Buyers mask and try some of my smart buying skills by telling the vegetable seller that it is available at ten percent lesser prices at a nearby mall. Quick comes the reply, "OK sir, please go there and spend Rs. 30 in parking charges and buy onions at two rupees less. I immediately realise that the total cost of ownership is high. With a sheepish grin, I take the onions and exit. When I reach home, I get quality feedback from the end customer that I have paid higher for the quality of material received and  specifications. The size of the onion is smaller and they are also not dry which means that I have effectively paid higher price for the quality that I have purchased. So, is she a smarter buyer. No way, I am going to prove everyone at home wrong that I am a smarter shopper.

After a few more successful negotiations at home with my son and daughter on topics of national interest like buying Minion Tees and downloading Pokemon Go, I proceed for some more shopping and buying with my family. We start with my daughter's shopping and I realise in no time, that in this type of shopping, there is no place for the value of money, specifications or negotiation. What matters is just brand, visual perception and cost. Yes, you guessed it correctly, after shortlisting and dumping number of clothes in West side, Max and Jealous, finally Vera Moda is chosen. Now this is beyond my Ken. In office, we select the vendor with the lowest cost, but here the Head of Procurement is forced to buy something which is the costliest ? Can you imagine why ? The reason is that she thinks that she too is a Smart Buyer. She is able to effectively choose the best brand which enhances her image. Isn't she a smart shopper?

When I expressed my unwillingness to spend more than one thousand rupees for the toy of my son  the rich kid asks me "are you not carrying your credit card, Papa, the more you purchase the more points get accumulated" When we were small we used to accept the limits given to us, but these kids are smarter.

My wife also doesn't waste time in proving that she too is a smart buyer by buying all those items which are available on heavy discounts or have some kind of scheme attached to it. So we end up buying more than we need or budget. But, she is able to save money in the long tun.

So, all of us are smart buyers but shopping motives are different.

Whereas, you can take a retirement from your respective jobs of being an Engineer and a software developer, as a Buyer I can never retire. As we grow older we become wiser and experienced buyers. The negotiations also never stops. I visualise a scenario when I am old and negotiating with my grand children to share the secret information of the keys of the refrigerator so that all of us can have ice creams.

Once a Buyer always a buyer. Happy buying and negotiating.

Journey of Life

Traditionally in India, a new born child's first outing is to a place revered by the parents. This Theater artist in Allahabad was no different. He took his 2 months old to a person he revered, his Guru. Upon arrival, the child was blessed and named by the Guru, none other than the renowned Hindi poet Sumitra Nandan Pant as Vinay. It was the child's good fortune that he also received the blessings from the visitors who were maestros in their chosen field - Mahadevi Verma, Harivansh Rai Bachchan and Suryakant Tripathy Nirala

 

With so many blessings and good wishes, the child grew into a successful person, and he is now standing in front of you and is always working on improving himself. Today, I am also embarking on my journey of Toastmasters and taking my first step towards the goal of becoming a better communicator and leader.  

 

Going back to childhood, my father was a very renowned Hindi Theatre Artist and book addict. He loved the smell of books and was instrumental in inculcating the habit of reading in me. The addiction was so much that after watching “Yes Prime Minister” I purchased the book and read so many times that I learned the dialogues. I still remember a scene Sir Humphrey Appleby tells the Prime Minister Jim Hacker “So that means you need to know things even when you don’t need to know them. You need to know them not because you need to know them but because you need to know whether or not you need to know them, So even if you don't need to know them you still need to know things to know that there was no need for you to know them.”

 

My father was like a friend to me. We lost him suddenly after a brief illness which was a big shock for me. It was my mother who took up the job in his place so that I could continue with my studies. I studied in St. Joseph’s College, Allahabad and did my graduation and MBA from Allahabad University. I started my career in Indian Rayon and after working in companies like Reliance and Pantaloons, I am currently working as a Head of Procurement, Real Estate and Administration in Blue Dart Express Ltd. In my 22 years of career I have worked in many industries but essentially in procurement function only. It is very difficult to make my children understand what I do in procurement. Once I tried to explain to them in Ahmedabad when I was working in a Pharma company, they thought that I was a chemist, I again tried when I was working in Pantaloons, they thought I sell clothes in a showroom, so I gave up after that.

 

My wife Madhuri is a Co-coordinator and a Teacher. Our relationship achieved adulthood last year as I completed 18 years of my married life. I have two children. My daughter Avantika is in 11th standard and son Aarav is in 4th standard.

 

Other than my professional commitments I love taking workshops and trainings related to procurement function within my organization. I am very passionate about my work and like to have fun while working. Once, I was negotiating a deal with a vendor and his name was Kamlesh. He was very adamant and not reducing the price at all. But I had to crack the deal. Before he left, I just remarked, who has given you the name Kamlesh, neither have you done kam (in Hindi) nor less. He started laughing and agreed to my demand of price. So, a little sense of humor bails you out of difficult situations. I have been invited to give guest lectures in SIES College, Nerul and Pillai’s institute in Panvel. I am also associated with Teach for India initiative.  

 

I got another shock of my life two years back when my mother suddenly passed away after a brief illness. It was particularly shocking for my daughter who was with her at home. Thankfully, she recovered from the shock and has done us proud by scoring perfect 10 CGPA in recently declared results of 10th. CBSE

 

In my journey of toastmasters, I hope to share many such things with you. But for now, I am signing off. As you can see my life’s struggles are depicted in my signature. There are ups and downs, lows and highs but the aim is to always go up and high. The small circle that you see signifies the moon which is the symbol of love.

 

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Khujli

खुजली 

मुझे कुछ दिनों से काफी खुजली हो रही है

वैसे खुजली तो पहले भी होती थी

पर ये खुजली कुछ अलग तरह की है

क्योंकि इस बार खुजलाने की अनुमति नहीं है

वैसे खुजली किसे नहीं होती

किसी को काम करने की तो किसी को काम ना करने की 

किसी को पैसे कमाने की तो किसी को पैसा उड़ने की 

किसी को लूटने की तो किसी को खसोटने की 

किसी को बाएं हाथ की तो किसी को दायें हाथ की 

खुजली ही कई प्रकार की होती हैं 

सबसे बड़ी नेतागिरी की 

सबसे आम अभिनय की 

लड़कियों को खूबसूरती की 

लड़कों को इश्क की 

खुजली से कई फायदे भी हुए हैं 

रतन टाटा को हुई तो नैनो आ गयी 

मार्क  जूकेरबेर्ग को हुई तो फेसबुक आया 

अन्ना हजारे को हुई तो लोकपाल क्रांति आई  

मनमोहन सिंह को हुई तो, तो भी आखिर चुप्पी ही मिली 

खुजली के कई नुक्सान भी हैं 

कलमाड़ी को हुई तो सी डब्लू जी स्कैम मिला 

लालू को हुई तो चारा घोटाला मिला 

राजा को हुई तो 2 जी स्कैम मिला 

मीडिया को हुई तो ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़ मिला 

अब इंटरनेशनल खुजली की बातें करते हैं 

ओसामा को हुई तो ट्विन टावर गए 

ओबामा को हुई तो ओसामा गया 

सद्दाम को हुई तो कुवैत गया 

बुश को हुई तो सद्दाम गया 

खेल के मैदान में खुजली 

सचिन को हुई तो सौ शतक मिले 

अजहर को हुई तो मैच फिक्सिंग मिला 

हरभजन को हुई तो गिलक्रिस्ट मंकी बना 

हरभजन को फिर हुई तो श्रीसंत पिटा 

छोटे बच्चों की खुजली 

राजू को हुई तो टिन्नू ने कर दी 

टिन्नू को हुई तो पप्पू ने कर दी 

पप्पू को हुई तो दीपू ने कर दी 

दीपू को हुई तो राजू ने कर दी 

फिल्म जगत की खुजली 

खुजा नहीं देना जी खुजा नहीं देना 

ज़माना ख़राब है खुजा नहीं देना 

इतने में राधा प्यारी आई खुजलाती 

मैंने ना जादू डाला बोली खुजलाती 

तो जनाब कहाँ से चले थे और खुजलाते खुजलाते कहाँ तक आ गए 

पर हाँ मुझे अगर खुजलाने की इजाज़त मिल जाए तो मैं 

सारे बलात्कारियों और भ्रष्ट नेताओं को नपुंसक बना दूँ 

एक स्त्री की मर्यादा तो दूसरा देश की मर्यादा लूटता है 

फांसी की सज़ा किसी भी समस्या का हल नहीं होती है 

तकलीफ तो तब होगी की खुजली आये पर वो खुजला न पायें 

वो खुजली करने के लिए हाथ उठायें पर नाखून कटा हुआ पायें 

ज़ख्म नासूर हो जाएँ पर इलाज़ मुमकिन ना हो 

मुझे इंतज़ार है उस दिन का 

जब ऐसे लोगों की या तो खुजली बंद हो जाए 

या मेरे वतन के लोगों में इन नपुंसकों के  

नाखून काटने की छमता और शक्ति आ जाये 

Ravan Kaun ?

रावण कौन ?

कल विजयदशमी है .

पृथ्वी पर तो सभी इस दिन का इंतज़ार करते हैं।  वैसे तो हर किसी के इंतज़ार करने की वजह अलग है पर परलोक में सिर्फ एक व्यक्ति को ही इस दिन का इंतज़ार रहता है।जैसे जैसे ये दिन करीब आता है उसे हिचकी आना शुरू हो जाती है। ऐसे बेचैनी उसे पूरे साल  नहीं होती है। उसका रोयाँ रोयाँ खड़ा हो जाता है।  सदियों से ये दिन बुराई पर अच्छाई की विजय के रूप में मनाया जाता है।वर्षों से रावण भी आदि हो गया था अपने अहँकार के किस्से लोगों से सुनते हुए।दूसरों की नज़रों से अपने आप को काम और वासना की अग्नि में झुलसता हुए देखते हुए। राजनेताओं से ये सुनते हुए की कैसे रावण ने अपने स्वार्थ के लिए अपने कुटुंब और राष्ट्र की बलि चढ़ा दी। परन्तु आजतक कभी भी उसने कभी भी कोई प्रतिक्रिया नहीं दी। अब तो उसने अपना सारा समय वीणा वादन को सम्पर्पित कर दिया था।

हालाँकि विजयदशमी को बीते हुए दो महीने हो गए थे पर कुछ दिनों से उसके मन में एक अजीब सी बेचैनी थी।  ऐसे बेचैनी और कसमसाहट उसे पहले इतनी सदियों में कभी नहीं हुई जो उसे कुछ महीनो से हो रही थी। पिछले कुछ दिनों की घटनाएं उसे विचलित कर गयी थी। धरती पर इस समय जो भी हो रहा था उससे उसकी रूह काँप उठी थी।क्यों उसे अपना दुराचार आजकल की घटनाओं के समक्ष अत्यंत सूक्ष्म लगने लगा था।

"हाँ मैंने अपनी मर्यादाओं का उल्लंघन किया था। अपने स्वार्थ के लिए शूर्पणखा की नाक कटवा दी थी। सोते हुए भाई कुम्भकरण को मौत की भट्टी में झोंक दिया था। अपने पुत्रों की बलि चढ़ा दी। एक पतिव्रता स्त्री का अपहरण किया।एक राष्ट्र की बलि चढ़ी दी। सोने की लंका को मिटटी में मिला दिया। हाँ ये सब मेरी ही एक जिद्द के कारण हुआ था।"

मैंने बहुत बुरे काम किये,  सीता के अपहरण का जघन्य अपराध तो किया  उनका एक बार भी स्पर्श नहीं किया था। मुझे एक समाज सुधारक के रूप में जाना जाता था। मैंने देवताओं के बनाये हुए नियमों पर प्रश्न उठाये, पशुओं की बलि पर रोक लगवाई। सिर्फ मेरे ही शासन काल में लंका तो सोने की लंका कहा गया था। मेरा नीति शास्त्र का ज्ञान तो स्वयं भगवान् राम भी स्वीकार करते थे तभी उन्होंने मेरे अंत समय में अपने भाई लक्ष्मण को ज्ञान अर्जन के लिए मेरे पास भेजा था। मेरे बराबर का योद्धा कोई नहीं था। अद्वितीय सहस का मैं धनी था। मेरे शास्त्रों की निपुणता के आगे तो शिव भी नमन करते थे। मेरे दस शीश मेरी दरिंदगी नहीं बल्कि मेरी चार वेदों और छह उपनिषदों पर कुशलता का प्रतीक थे।

आमतौर पर अपनी खुली हंसी और अट्ठाहास के लिए रावण जाना जाता था पर आज घुटन महसूस कर रहा था। उसके हाथ वीणा के तार पर फिसल रहे थे। वो इतना विचलित हो गया की अपने निवास से बहार निकल आया खुली हवा में। आमतौर पर तो वो बहार भी नहीं आता था। आखिर वो सबका प्यारा खलनायक जो था।
नंगे पाँव गर्म रेत पर चलता हुआ वो काफी दूर निकल आया। समुद्र तट पर बैठ कर आती हुई लहरों को देख रहा था। ऐसा काफी दिनों बाद हुआ था। अपने लंका के शासनकाल में वो अक्सर एकांत पाने के लिए समुद्र तट पर बैठ कर मनन करता था। तभी उसकी निगाह एक युवती पर पड़ी। दुबली पतली से वो युवती बार बार एक केकड़े को पानी के अनदार डालने की असफल प्रयास कर रही थी। हर बार वोह केकड़े को पानी के अन्दर करती थी और लहरें उसे वापस रेत पर ला कर पटक देती थी। फिर भी वो कोशिश करती जा रही थी ये जानते हुई भी की कभी भी वो केकड़ा उसे काट सकता है। पर वो हार नहीं मान रही थी। रावण उसके सतत प्रयास से काफी प्रभावित हुआ। उससे रहा नहीं गया। उसने अपने स्थान से उठ कर उसकी मदद करने का प्रयास किया पर वो युवती एकाग्रता से अपने प्रयास में लगी हुई थी। अंत में काफी मशक्कत के बाद वो उस केकड़े को वापास पानी के अन्दर करने में सफल हुई।

रावण ने उससे पुछा तुम्हे ज़रा भी भय नहीं लगा, अगर वोह तुम्हे काट लेता तो। युवती के माथे पर एक भी शिकन नहीं आई। उसने कहा ये उसकी प्रवृत्ति है। मेरा कर्म था उसे उसके अपनों के बीच पहुँचाना। मुझे उसे उसका वो स्थान देना था जिसका उसे अधिकार है। यहाँ रहता तो किसी मनुष्य के लालच का शिकार हो जाता। मैंने तो सिर्फ उसका हक़ उसे दिया है जिसका वो हकदार था। मैं ना होती तो शायद कोई और उसकी मदद करता या क्या पता उसे मदद मिलने में अगर देर हो जाती तो वो पाने प्राणों से हाथ धो बैठता। मैंने उसे उसका जीने का हक़ उसे दिया है।

रावण ने फिर उससे पुछा, पुत्री तुम्हारा नाम क्या है ? पहली बार वो मुस्कुरायी और बोली नाम का क्या कुछ भी कह लीजिये, चाहे निर्भया कहिये या ज्योति। मैं तो बस एक प्रतीक हूँ। मेरे जैसे हर जगह आपको मिलेंगे। रावण का मन नहीं माना, उसने फिर पुछा मुझे तुम्हारे अन्दर इतनी हिम्मत होने के बाद भी इतना दर्द क्यों दिखा रहा है। ज्योति भावहीन स्वर में बोली, क्योंकि मेरी मर्यादा का  हनन हुआ है। बल से मेरे शरीर पर मेरी इच्छाओं के विपरीत आक्रमण हुआ है। न मैं पहली स्त्री हूँ जिसके साथ हुआ है और ना ही आखिरी। ये कोई नयी घटना है है, सदियों से चला आ रहा है स्त्रीयों पर अत्याचार, कभी तो पराये करते हैं और कभी अपने भी नहीं छोड़ते। ये घटना क्रम कभी थमा नहीं है। चंद लोगों ने मेरे शरीर पर वार किया पर वो मेरी आत्मा को  छू भी नहीं पाए। मैंने अपनी लड़ाई खुद लड़ने की बहुत कोशिश की। पर ऐसा नहीं हो सका।

रावण की अंतरात्मा अन्दर से हिल गयी। सदियों से वो अपने आप को जो समझाता आया था वोह चकनाचूर हो गया। अपने बुरे कृत्य के पीछे अपनी अच्छाइयों को न याद करने की उलाहना जो वो लोगों देता आया था वो  न जाने पातळ के किस कोने में जाके छुप गयी, उसे पता ही नहीं चला। ज्योति अपनी मुट्ठी में रेत लेकर बोली, आप ये देख रहें हैं। ये मेरे हाथ से कब निकल जाती है, इसका हमें पता ही नहीं चलता। जब हम अपनी मुट्ठी खोलते हैं हैं तो देखते हैं की कुछ बचा ही नहीं। समय भी ऐसा ही है, कब निकल जाता है पता ही नहीं चलता। ये दुनिया बड़ी स्वार्थी है। सब लंगड़े हैं। हर किसी को एक दुसरे की लकड़ी का सहारा बनना पड़ता है। जिस दिन हम लंगडाना छोड़ देंगे, दुसरे का सहारा नहीं लेंगे और अपनी लड़ाई खुद लड़ेंगे उस दिन हमारा भविष्य हमारी मुट्ठी में आ जायेगा। मैं अपनी लड़ाई खुद तो नहीं लड़ सकी पर मैंने हर जागरूक मानव के अन्दर एक ज्योति दी है। इस लड़ाई को वो कितना आगे ले जाता है वो इसपर निर्भर करता है की वो कितना निर्भय है। मैंने सिर्फ शक्ति देने का प्रयास किया है। मैं कितनी सफल हुई हूँ ये तो आने वाला समय ही बताएगा। ये कहते हुए वो फिर से भागी और एक मछली जो पानी से बहार आ गयी थी उसे चुल्लू भर पानी की मदद से एक अस्थायी जलाशय में डाल आई।

रावण के अन्दर अब और कोई भी सवाल पूछने की शक्ति नहीं रह गयी थी। अब उसे समझ आया की क्यों उसका मन विचलित हो रहा था। इतने वर्षों बाद उसे उसे ग्लानी हो रही थी और अपने किये पर खुद को ही धिक्कार रहा था। पर वो ये भी सोचने पर मजबूर हो गया कि रावण कौन है, वो जो परलोक मैं हैं, या हज़ारों वो लोग जो धरती पर बेसाख्ता नर संहार कर रहे हैं, पर्यावरण को नष्ट कर रहे हैं, धोखाधडी कर रहे हैं, आम जनता की भावनाओं के साथ खिलवाड़ कर रहे हैं। रावण वो है, या वो जो प्रतिदिन स्त्रीयों की मर्यादा का हनन कर रहे हैं।

ज्योति उस मछली को जीवन दान देकर फिर वापास आई और बोली, विजयादशमी पर रावण का पुतला जलाने से पाप का अंत कभी नहीं होगा, उसे किये हमें अपने ह्रदय में हर पाप  और अनुचित कार्य के बीज को मारना होगा और ये हर पल करना होगा। इसके पहले रावण अपनी कोई भी प्रतिक्रिया दे पता, ज्योति एक नए प्राण को बचने के लिए दौड़ पड़ी।

Sharten Lagoo

शर्तें लागू 

लुभाने का ज़माना है
हर कीमत पर ग्राहक को पटाना है !

ये लो तो वो मुफ़्त
और वो लो तो कुछ और मुफ़्त !

कोई चीज किसी के साथ मुफ़्त है
कुछ एक लो तो दो साथ में और मिलते हैं  !

राजनेता के साथ भ्रष्टाचार मुफ़्त
बिल्डर के साथ धोखाधड़ी मुफ़्त !

माँ के साथ ममता मुफ़्त
तो बच्चे के साथ मासूमियत मुफ़्त !

पैसे के साथ तोंद मुफ़्त
तो अमीरी के साथ बीमारी मुफ़्त !

दुल्हन के साथ शर्म हया मुफ़्त
तो घरवाली के साथ साली मुफ़्त !

फेसबुक के संग बिछड़े दोस्त मुफ़्त
तो ब्लैकबेरी के संग पत्नी का ग़ुस्सा मुफ़्त !

नौकरी के साथ तनाव मुफ़्त
तो दिल के साथ हृदयरोग मुफ़्त !

सब कुछ मुफ़्त होने के बाद भी
कुछ भी आसानी से नहीं मिलता !

क्योंकि हर मोड़ , हर नुक्कड़ ,
हर गली कूचे पर शर्तें लागू हैं !

मज़े की बात तो ये हैकि ये शर्तें दिखती नहीं हैं
दिखता है तो बस मुफ़्त , मुफ़्त , मुफ़्त !

नेताजी कहें "हम सड़क बनवायेंगे , स्कूल बनवायेंगे "
शर्ते लागू !
वोट नहीं दिया हमें तो ये सब धरे के धरे रह जायेंगे !!

बेटा बोला बाप से "आप कितने अच्छे हैं"
शर्तें लागू !
जेबखर्च बढ़ा देना वर्ना सिगरेट वाली बात खुल जाएगी !!

पत्नी बोली पति से "आय लव यू"
शर्तें लागू !
शाम को घर आते समय साडी और गहने  ले आना !!

डॉक्टर बोला "तुम बिल्कुल ठीक हो, बस ये टेस्ट करा लेना"
शर्तें लागू !
हमारे चंगुल में आये हो बच्चू , बच के कहाँ जाओगे !!

जूनियर बोला बॉस से "ये रंग आप पर बहुत जंचता है"
शर्तें लागू !
प्रमोशान के साथ ज़रा पैसे भी बढ़ा देना !!

अमरीका बोला भारत से "हम सहयोग के छेत्र बढायेंगे"
शर्तें लागू !
ऍफ़ डी आई ला दो, फिर दूसरी ईस्ट इंडिया कंपनी बनायेंगे !!

मां ने अपने नवजात शिशु को हवा में उड़ा के पुचकारा !
बच्चा रोने की जगह खिलखिलाया !!
क्योंकि यहाँ कोई शर्तें नहीं लागू हैं !!!

ख़ुशी के साथ ख़ुशी मुफ़्त !
विश्वास के साथ विश्वास मुफ़्त !!