Ravan, The epitome of evil, was very restless today. Sitting in the higher worlds, he has been watching people burn his effigies on Dussehra. He was OK with the fact that people celebrate his reduction to ashes. People eagerly waited for the day when they celebrate the victory of good over evil. He was after all the ultimate villain, a symbol of lust, greed and selfishness. Ravan had heard a million times from political leaders, how he sacrificed his family and put the interest of his nation below his personal interest. 

He thought to himself, Yes, I did all this, I do not deny that, I did everything what I am blamed for. I kidnapped Sita and kept her hostage at Ashok Vatika. I kept her away from her husband. I daily instigated her with my proposal for marriage. BUT I did not touch her as she said NO. I am not justifying my action in any way but today I want to point out that as she said NO, I stayed away. I wanted to marry her, so that I could make her my queen. Give her a life of respect and luxury hence I requested her daily but she refused and I went back to my Palace, only to return again with the same question the very next day. Why am I then still the ultimate villain?

Ravan, famous for his belly rumbling laughter, was feeling very disturbed and even his hands were slipping from his Veena which he could earlier play for hours. He came out of his heavenly abode for a refreshing walk on the sea shore. As he was walking on the beach he saw a girl picking starfish which had landed on the beach with the waves and throwing them back in the sea. During the process sometimes they were biting her but she continued with her efforts relentlessly. Ravan became very curious, he asked her, who she was? She replied without even looking at him, "My name is Nirbhaya and I symbolize life. You can physically harm me but not my spirit. These starfishes bite me but I will still not stop giving them life."

Curious, Ravan said, I am sure like everyone else you also despise me as you see only the negative aspects of my personality and not the positive changes I introduced. My ten heads are not a symbol of dread but were symbolic of my knowledge of four Vedas and six Upanishads. I stopped the sacrifice of animals in the society. I was known as Social reformer and during my rule, my country was known as Golden Lanka and though I forcibly abducted a married woman but I never touched her. Nirbhaya patiently listened to Ravan and said "A person can do thousands of good things but if he cannot respect a woman, he does not deserve to live" 

That was the day when Ravan realized his folly and accepted his defeat. That day, he accepted his punishment and burned with shame when his effigies were burned. 

Good evening, my dear Toastmasters and guests. Today, I am here not to celebrate the spirit of Dussehra but I want to compare the situation of girls in earlier days to their situation in our world today. When a girl says NO, it means NO. We should respect that and honor her feelings. I recently saw a movie "Pink" which made me think about the society that we are living in.

Every day when we read newspapers it is full of news of rapes and attacks on woman. We live in a society which teaches it girls to be safe. They are supposed to be having sixth sense which can smell any harm coming their way before it happens. And, god forbid if something happens, what is our reaction. Don't tell anyone, it will bring bad name and shame to the family. We start blaming the girl for not being extra cautious. 

If a girl touches, pats and even hugs her male friends, is she giving them signals? She might be feeling safe and comfortable in their company. 

If a girl loves wearing modern outfits, does she want to provoke boys? She might be again looking only for comfortable dressing. 

If she smiles when she speaks, is she interested to build a relationship? It may be a part of her charming personality

If a girl is not a Virgin, is she characterless. She may have been in a relationship.

We are living in a society which is totally biased towards women. I am going to narrate here a story of a lady who had a son and a daughter and always motivated her daughter to be brave and fight for her rights. Her daughter grew to be a very strong woman but her own son mistreated his wife. The lady realized her mistake. She should have simultaneously taught her son to respect woman. Though, she supported her daughter-in-law but if she had inculcated the correct values in her son, she could have solved the problem from its roots.

Dear Toastmasters and Guests, this is a mistake we are continuously doing in life. We teach defense to girls, we tell them to be safe and keep quiet in case there is any problem. This is one approach, but Instead of doing this, should we also not teach the boys to respect woman. The men must know that even if they possess all the good qualities, if they cannot respect a woman for what she stands, then every achievement is meaningless. We have to teach men to understand that they come from a woman and their world revolves around women. And when a woman says No, it means NO. Learn to respect their decision. 

Smart Buyer

Smart Buyer

Good morning everyone. Let me begin by asking, how many men present here think that they are smart buyers. And how many ladies think that they negotiate better than men.

(Responses)

Buying and negotiating is a part of our daily life. It starts from the time we wake up. The Door bell rings ! Everyone pretends to ignore as no one wants to get up.  Negotiation starts, who will go and open the door. Remember, I opened the door yesterday, You go, No you go. Negotiation.

My daughter says, "Papa, I have to go out with friends to KFC, I need 500 rupees" "why ? You will get a meal in 300 and a drink in less than 100, I think 400 should be sufficient" - Negotiation.

I tell my son "you have to complete this chapter in one hour " After 40 minutes he has not reached even the half way mark.  "Son, you are behind schedule, Do it fast " Project Execution and Follow up.

Next in line is the wife, "we have to go shopping in the evening try to reach home by 6" "Oh no, I have a meeting at 4 and a con call at 5. Take your call in the car" - Negotiation.

Well, I used to think that I am a smart buyer, After all I am a Buyer professionally and I am supposed to be buying materials and services for my organisation. For everyone else buying is a casual activity but not for me, I earn my living out of it !

Actually, we start buying when we are small kids. Our mothers ask us to buy petty things from the nearby retail store like onions. As we grow up we mature, more money is given to us to buy more items like medicines etc. But, if you are the youngest of your siblings even if you grow 40 year old, your parents will have more confidence on the buying power of your elder brother. My mother never believed that I could make costly purchases. It is ironical that at the same time I handled purchases worth crores in my Organization but was not considered a good buyer by my own mother.

Another scene, MD calls me to negotiate a deal worth 20 crores. I get on the job immediately call meeting of Operations Team, gather specifications, float enquiry, get quotation, compare, mercilessly negotiate with the vendors, Get good discounts. System is implemented and accolades flow from all corners. Everyone is happy. My smart buying powers earn me money in the form of salary and increments.

Another day, another scenario, I am returning home after closing a big order in office, When my wife calls, "can you please buy a kg of onions" A Smart Buyer to go and buy an item worth twenty rupees ! Anyway, I wear my Buyers mask and try some of my smart buying skills by telling the vegetable seller that it is available at ten percent lesser prices at a nearby mall. Quick comes the reply, "OK sir, please go there and spend Rs. 30 in parking charges and buy onions at two rupees less. I immediately realise that the total cost of ownership is high. With a sheepish grin, I take the onions and exit. When I reach home, I get quality feedback from the end customer that I have paid higher for the quality of material received and  specifications. The size of the onion is smaller and they are also not dry which means that I have effectively paid higher price for the quality that I have purchased. So, is she a smarter buyer. No way, I am going to prove everyone at home wrong that I am a smarter shopper.

After a few more successful negotiations at home with my son and daughter on topics of national interest like buying Minion Tees and downloading Pokemon Go, I proceed for some more shopping and buying with my family. We start with my daughter's shopping and I realise in no time, that in this type of shopping, there is no place for the value of money, specifications or negotiation. What matters is just brand, visual perception and cost. Yes, you guessed it correctly, after shortlisting and dumping number of clothes in West side, Max and Jealous, finally Vera Moda is chosen. Now this is beyond my Ken. In office, we select the vendor with the lowest cost, but here the Head of Procurement is forced to buy something which is the costliest ? Can you imagine why ? The reason is that she thinks that she too is a Smart Buyer. She is able to effectively choose the best brand which enhances her image. Isn't she a smart shopper?

When I expressed my unwillingness to spend more than one thousand rupees for the toy of my son  the rich kid asks me "are you not carrying your credit card, Papa, the more you purchase the more points get accumulated" When we were small we used to accept the limits given to us, but these kids are smarter.

My wife also doesn't waste time in proving that she too is a smart buyer by buying all those items which are available on heavy discounts or have some kind of scheme attached to it. So we end up buying more than we need or budget. But, she is able to save money in the long tun.

So, all of us are smart buyers but shopping motives are different.

Whereas, you can take a retirement from your respective jobs of being an Engineer and a software developer, as a Buyer I can never retire. As we grow older we become wiser and experienced buyers. The negotiations also never stops. I visualise a scenario when I am old and negotiating with my grand children to share the secret information of the keys of the refrigerator so that all of us can have ice creams.

Once a Buyer always a buyer. Happy buying and negotiating.

Journey of Life

Traditionally in India, a new born child's first outing is to a place revered by the parents. This Theater artist in Allahabad was no different. He took his 2 months old to a person he revered, his Guru. Upon arrival, the child was blessed and named by the Guru, none other than the renowned Hindi poet Sumitra Nandan Pant as Vinay. It was the child's good fortune that he also received the blessings from the visitors who were maestros in their chosen field - Mahadevi Verma, Harivansh Rai Bachchan and Suryakant Tripathy Nirala

 

With so many blessings and good wishes, the child grew into a successful person, and he is now standing in front of you and is always working on improving himself. Today, I am also embarking on my journey of Toastmasters and taking my first step towards the goal of becoming a better communicator and leader.  

 

Going back to childhood, my father was a very renowned Hindi Theatre Artist and book addict. He loved the smell of books and was instrumental in inculcating the habit of reading in me. The addiction was so much that after watching “Yes Prime Minister” I purchased the book and read so many times that I learned the dialogues. I still remember a scene Sir Humphrey Appleby tells the Prime Minister Jim Hacker “So that means you need to know things even when you don’t need to know them. You need to know them not because you need to know them but because you need to know whether or not you need to know them, So even if you don't need to know them you still need to know things to know that there was no need for you to know them.”

 

My father was like a friend to me. We lost him suddenly after a brief illness which was a big shock for me. It was my mother who took up the job in his place so that I could continue with my studies. I studied in St. Joseph’s College, Allahabad and did my graduation and MBA from Allahabad University. I started my career in Indian Rayon and after working in companies like Reliance and Pantaloons, I am currently working as a Head of Procurement, Real Estate and Administration in Blue Dart Express Ltd. In my 22 years of career I have worked in many industries but essentially in procurement function only. It is very difficult to make my children understand what I do in procurement. Once I tried to explain to them in Ahmedabad when I was working in a Pharma company, they thought that I was a chemist, I again tried when I was working in Pantaloons, they thought I sell clothes in a showroom, so I gave up after that.

 

My wife Madhuri is a Co-coordinator and a Teacher. Our relationship achieved adulthood last year as I completed 18 years of my married life. I have two children. My daughter Avantika is in 11th standard and son Aarav is in 4th standard.

 

Other than my professional commitments I love taking workshops and trainings related to procurement function within my organization. I am very passionate about my work and like to have fun while working. Once, I was negotiating a deal with a vendor and his name was Kamlesh. He was very adamant and not reducing the price at all. But I had to crack the deal. Before he left, I just remarked, who has given you the name Kamlesh, neither have you done kam (in Hindi) nor less. He started laughing and agreed to my demand of price. So, a little sense of humor bails you out of difficult situations. I have been invited to give guest lectures in SIES College, Nerul and Pillai’s institute in Panvel. I am also associated with Teach for India initiative.  

 

I got another shock of my life two years back when my mother suddenly passed away after a brief illness. It was particularly shocking for my daughter who was with her at home. Thankfully, she recovered from the shock and has done us proud by scoring perfect 10 CGPA in recently declared results of 10th. CBSE

 

In my journey of toastmasters, I hope to share many such things with you. But for now, I am signing off. As you can see my life’s struggles are depicted in my signature. There are ups and downs, lows and highs but the aim is to always go up and high. The small circle that you see signifies the moon which is the symbol of love.

 

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.